2012 is dead. Long live 2013!

This year has been a wonderful, traumatic and steep learning curve. 2012 got off to a good start when I went to America for the first time, hitting Los Angelos and San Francisco. It's a country I've read so much about and I wondered if it would live up to my expectations. The people I met were lovely, the sun shone most of the time and I become quite addicted to Trader Joe's vegan chocolate chip cookies. Yet I found it hard to ignore the large homeless population I encountered in both cities and the slight obsession with ethnic backgrounds. I'd go back to San Francisco in a heartbeat: it reminds me so much of Glasgow with its vibrant arts scene and the temperamental weather. 

My good self posing on the Golden Gate Bridge on Martin Luther King Day

What else happened in 2012? My career became extremely important. For the first time I was doing a job that I was qualified to do and that I wanted to do well in. Previously, all my jobs were stepping stones towards a Career and were there merely to pay the bills. I have been in my current job since 2011 as a temporary post which became more permanent in June this year. 

June is the month that can sum up 2012. I completed my only goal of 2012 (more about that later) by running the Race for Life 5k; I bought a house; a family member became seriously ill and I thought I might lose someone I love very much; I applied for my current job and was kept on, much to my relief. Yes, 2012 was a very bumpy year. 

Let's have a quick look back to January 2012 - how frightening that was almost a year ago. 

1. To start running again and enrol in a 10k event - HALF COMPLETED 

Halfway through the year I re-assessed my goals and decided a 5k was more within my reach. I enrolled in the Race for Life 5k and began following their training program. I cannot begin to describe the elation I felt as I crossed the finish line at 45 minutes. Unfortunately I did let my running slip after June but all is not lost. In December I re-joined the gym and I have been pounding the treadmills in preparation for the return of spring. Then we can talk about that 10k. 

Unfortunately, my remaining four goals did not work out as well. They were:

2. To continue doing morning pages every day 
3. To stick to my weekly schedules 
4. To avoid getting into music ruts 
5. To keep track of the books I read and participate in the Sunday Salon once a month 

I learnt some harsh lessons this year, including that I am an extremely bad procrastinator and that I find it hard planning in advance. This has impacted on my Career so it needs to be worked on, otherwise it affects my productivity in work. I have been pondering on this whilst working on my 2013 goals and my planning should help. When I planned my 2012 goals, I thought "Oh well, they'll just happen." Sadly they won't unless I do something about it. 

Therefore, I will be spending the last day of 2012 making plans for 2013 and making some vegan Irish Cream. Start small and work your way up - a little drink helps as well. 

NaNoWirMo: Report Card Two

It was all going so well. As you can tell by my first report card, I was soaring through my first week of NaNo. Heck, I was even steaming ahead with my word count.

Then Week Two hit.

The excuses for writing built up: the Mothership's birthday meant a whole evening out of NaNo time whilst a bad day at work meant I lost the will to do anything beyond stare at the television in a grump. Add to that a planned night out plus an unexpected shift at work and I was am behind in NaNo. Way behind - over half the suggested word count. That is one of the main disadvantages of NaNo (and one of the reasons it works) is that more than two days off means you're lagging behind.

I started to lose interest in my plot and my characters. I tentatively finished off sections of text I was not entirely happy with. On the plus side, I did manage to draft this month's submission to Write in for Writing's Sake when I was taking time off from NaNo. Although I was not sitting down and writing, I was still thinking about my plot and which direction to take it in.

So I've decided to let my characters wander. Using Scrivener means I can write scenes and move them around when I wish. Today I have been writing about my MC's first day at their new job. Tomorrow I might switch back to their 'flashback' scene that takes place seven years earlier. It makes the story feel more exciting especially if I'm dashing about and gaining a different perspective.

I have a week off work and I am determined to be back on track by Thursday. Instead of doing twenty minute writing sprints, I have been setting the timer for thirty to forty-five minutes. It's a trick I picked up from Unfuck your Habitat and it makes the task ahead feel much easier. As I write this blog post, my word count is sitting on 18603. Cross your fingers and wish for me to hit the thirties by Thursday evening. Bring on the pretzels!

NaNoWriMo: Report Card One

When left to my own devices, I find it very easy to procrastinate. This very lunchtime I switched on the very *ahem* informative programme Don't Tell the Bride to have on in the background during my break. An hour later, my wraps eaten, I found myself still watching this programme. It's hard to kick those habits but I'm getting better at it. For instance, I switched off the programme instead of telling myself to watch the last twenty minutes.

Now if I had a method of holding myself accountable, I doubt I would have wasted an hour on a stupid television programme (especially as I slept in this morning). That's the danger I can see arising with NaNoWriMo. This morning I was over 3000 words behind the official target. After some writing sprints (more about those later), I had clocked up 2000 words and I'm only 1200 words behind today's official target. A quick note about targets: in order to complete NaNo on time, ideally you need to be hitting 1666 words a day at the absolute minimum. I took yesterday off NaNo to spend time with my family which was lovely. My story has taken an unforeseen dark turn and I did not want to burst my happy bubble returning to it last night.

How is my story going? Not the way I planned at all. As part of my NaNo prep, I made a list of what makes a 'bad' novel. Please note, this is what makes me put down a novel. My list of what makes a 'good' novel will not appeal to everyone, just as my 'bad' list might leave some people outraged. So here goes:

What makes a 'bad' novel according to Laura Stevens:

1. Boring and poorly developed characters
2. Long passages of inner monologue that are dull and don't move the plot along
3. Confusing narratives that jump around
4. Overly complicated language or jargon
5. Repeated scenes of sexual abuse that do not add to the plot
6. Cruelty to animals
7. Overuse of exclamation points!

In No Plot? No Problem! Chris Baty encourages us to make this list so we can avoid these elements creeping into our novels. Alas, he also warns that it is very easy to fall into these traps especially when writing to a deadline. I am ashamed to admit that points nos 1, 2 and 3 are alive and well in my NaNo story. However, I'm willing to let them slide. Why? Purely because, excluding yesterday, I have been writing every single day this week. That was not happened in years, quite possibly the first time since I have left school. Instead of finding excuses, I'm working my way around them. Can't take my laptop on my work commute? Then use a nice A5 pad and a pretty pen instead. Not sure what to write? Doesn't matter, sit down and let the words come. This morning, I broke through the 10000 word barrier and I gave myself a little cheer. The last piece of work I finished clocked in at 3000 words with the re-writing process taking the finished story up to 3500 words. I should also add that 3000 story took me a month to complete, even with a submission deadline looming. So 10000 words in a week is not to be sniffed at. 

This has left me extremely happy with my NaNo progress so far. Yesterday I did have my first plot crisis due to Sunday's writing session. Out of nowhere, my second main character was killed off page  but it has thrown up some interesting routes for my main character. I now have a much more interesting plot lining up for them than my original idea that I am much more excited about.

There are three things I am attributing to my current NaNo cheer:

1. Reading the daily blogs from Vikki at The View Outside. I've known Vikki through Bookcrossing for a number of years, although I have not bookcrossed for a very long time, I still keep in touch with people through the wonders of social media. Her updates on Twitter and Facebook are a good way of giving me a gentle prod to get my writing bottom in gear. 
1. 1 Ali at 12 Books 12 Months is an old hand at this NaNo business - she loved it so much that she did NanNo every month in 2011. That means she's written over 12 books thanks to NaNo. Her blog is a great pit stop in between writing sprints. 
2. Writing sprints. I've been setting my timer for 20 minutes and writing furiously without stopping to think. Then I give myself 10 minutes as a reward for doing what I want like filling up my coffee mug or other essential tasks, like peeing. NaNo does host official sprints on Twitter if you like the idea of competing against other novelists. They also suggest prompts if you're struggling to think of where to take your novel during the sprinting. 
3. Rewards of pretzels, humous and salsa. Mmmmmm…..

NaNoWriMo: Third Time Lucky?

It's sad to see 2012 almost slipping away. The nights are drawing in and everyone is talking in hushed tones about this winter being a bad 'un (read: lots of snow and panic). Still, all is not lost. November is an exciting month for the wannabe writer. I love this time of year when the trees start to change colour and the leaves crunch under your feet as you walk the streets. My birthday is in February which might factor into my enjoyment of winter i.e. lots of presents are starting to come my way!

First things first, I have November to get through. This time I have decided to have a third attempt at NaNoWriMo (or NaNo for short). For those not in the know, NaNoWriMo is a scheme designed to help you write a 50, 000 novel in a month. It started with humble beginings in San Francisco with a gent called Chris Baty and his group of friends. Now, thousands of people across the world take part in the wonderful task of making up stories whilst sticking to a deadline. It's a lovely thought that other people are hunched over their notepads, writing furiously to hit the end of month target. I took part in NaNoWriMo in 2010 and 2011 and gave up both times. This year I feel more prepared.

I spent most of October re-reading No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty, as a guide designed to get you through November and across the novel writing finish line. This book helped me realise that NaNo is supposed to be fun. Who cares if a giant squid suddenly appears in quite a serious story about real life superheroes (I'm looking at you, Alan Moore) ? I realised why I had failed in my previous attempts at NaNo. The trouble was I took my stories too seriously and worried too much about how sensible some plot developments were. The aim of NaNo is quantity not quantity. Having a finished draft is the goal and you can edit that giant squid out of the narrative on the 1st January (it's recommended that you leave your manuscript alone for a month after NaNo).

Also, I've managed to persuade a friend to do NaNo with me. We met at a writing class a couple of years ago and have kept in touch. There is a possibility we might meet up to do some write ins together which should help keep me on track. A little bit of friendly competition never does you any harm. Him Indoors is embarking on a similar project in November called National Game Designer Month which will help spur me on at home. Unfortunately I don't know who is going to end up doing the hoovering (probably Him Indoors). I can see a lot of vegan chilli being consumed in this house in November. It's one of the few recipes I can chuck in the slow cooker and not worry about. Apologies for anyone that comes to visit!

Finally, I have my secret weapon: Scrivener. This is a program designed for individuals that are working on a writing project. It's primarily aimed at those writing works of fiction but it could work for non-fiction books as well. I have been using various word processing applications to write stories for almost twenty years and it is, by far, the best piece of kit I have used. Each writing project is organised into a binder that includes everything: research, notes, character cards and your actual writing. You can move pieces of text around with ease. Does that fight scene belong in Chapter Five, rather than Chapter Three? Drag and drop and hey presto! it's done. Much better than scrolling through X pages in Open Office or MS Word. You can purchase the software for £30 in the UK and I would heartily recommend it.

What are you writing about? I hear you cry. I have some plans afoot but I'm a bit wary of how events are going to play out. For the moment I'll keep quiet. However I promise to let you all know immediately when the giant squid turns up.

October Mini-Readathon

It's 1pm which means it's time for Dewey's 24 Hour Readathon! This time I'm doing a mini-readathon and will be taking part 1-5pm this afternoon, instead of the full 24 hours. The kettle is boiling and I'm looking forward to my first cup of coffee of the day. The house is empty as Him Indoors is travelling back from an overnight stay in London and the animals are asleep. I'm ready to kick back and begin a good reading sprint.

Based upon my experience with the readathon in April, I have chosen some shorter reads to indulge in this afternoon. Here's a (badly photographed) glimpse of my reading pile:

Louise Welsh was my first read for the April readathon and it was sheer luck I managed to add her to this one. I have been waiting for her latest book, The Girl on the Stairs, to come into my local library. It arrived on Thursday which I was rather excited about. The other reads on my pile include:

Monkeys with Typewriters - Scarlett Thomas
Negotiating with the Dead - Margaret Atwood
On Writing - Stephen King

I'm using this afternoon as an opportunity to catch up on my 'self-study' into the craft of writing. It's a change from my last readathon books which included memoirs, feminist theory and novels influenced by the Women's Liberation Movement.

Ah, I hear you cry, what's the orange envelope? All in good time, it wouldn't be a readathon if there were no surprises along the way. Good luck everyone and happy reading!

Comments moderation has been switched off for today so please stop by and say hello!

Almost 4.5 hours into the readathon 

It has been delightful losing myself in a book this afternoon. Once again I have been reading in my shared office with Him Indoors on our lovely new futon. The view from my new house overlooks dense woodland and I can see the forest turning a golden shade of autumn. It's a perfect backdrop to the sinister tale Louise Welsh has crafted in The Girl on the Stairs.  Jane Logan has relocated to Berlin with her partner, Petra. At first you sense Jane's bewilderment of being in a different country (as most people would do) and unable to communicate in German. On her first night in a strange new apartment she hears a violent argument from the occupants next door. Before long Jane becomes mildly obsessed with Dr Mann and his teenage daughter, Anna. To add to the danger Jane is pregnant and, as the plot speeds on, I keep finding myself appalled at the situations she keeps putting herself and her unborn child in. I flinch each time she lights up a cigarette (she's determined to give up) or when she goes wandering the streets at night. I'm starting to wonder how much I should judge Jane's interpretation of events.

I decided to take a little break at 4pm to explore the contents of my orange envelope. I have recently joined a zine subscription service and my first packet arrived this week. The zines have a real mix of visual styles and they have been a good distraction from the density of text from a book.

Him Indoors will be returning home soon so I will put my reading aside. All the best for those still reading and I'll see you in April. 

October Already

As the year rumbled into October, I felt rather cheated when frost started appearing on the ground. At the train station, I watched the smoky breath from my fellow commuters that comes with the drop in temperature. Everyone has been hoping for a late summer, especially as most of this year was a washout. No such luck. On Tuesday I stepped into the cold air, wrapped in my new winter coat.

It's hard to believe that almost six months ago I was preparing for the Dewey 24 Hour Readathon. For those that don't know, the Readathon is a glorious opportunity to spend an indulgent 24 hours reading for pure and utter pleasure. April was the first readathon I participated in, after cheering on from the sidelines, and I had a wonderful time. You can read all about my experiences by clicking on this summary blog post. 

Like the unexpected frost, October's readathon has crept up on me. It was Alex in Leed's post last week that reminded me that a readathon was coming up. Unfortunately I have made plans for part of this weekend but there is a gap on Saturday afternoon. It's a nice little reading slot that I shall spent lying on the futon in the home office (the room that catches most of the afternoon sun), mug of tea beside me and a good book to keep me company. 

Good luck to all those embarking on the full 24 hour marathon. I will be cheering you on in spirit. 

Reflective Tuesdays: Failure

(Courtsey: Creative Commons/Tasha Chawner)

Failure – it's not a nice word, is it? It's a word I've struggled with for years. As a child, failing was not an option. One vivid memory I have is hiding in the bathroom, copying out words I got wrong in a spelling test. I was too ashamed to let my parents see that I had only got one word right in the entire test. Another memory was when I received a lower grade than expected for giving a speech in my English class. Horrified at being awarded a dreaded grade 3 (with grades ranging from 1 – 8), I insisted I be allowed to give the speech again. The teacher obviously sensed my desperation and gave my pitiful performance a grade 2. I sat down and breathed a sign of relief.

The point of these anecdotes is that I always have been afraid of failing. A tango partner to fear of failing is setting high standards for one's self. When I was praised for doing well, my eye would pick out the one piece of criticism. That is what I would remember over and above everything else.

At the grand old age of 27 I am tentatively trying to learn from failure. Rather than seeing it as a reflection of my character (which I'm sure many people are guilty of doing at least once in their lives), I try to see it as a learning curve. Fear of failure has kept me from doing basic things such as speaking up in meetings or trying a new approach to an old task. My inner daemon is still good at heaping on the guilt when I have an idea shot down in a meeting or no-one signed up for an event I had spent weeks preparing for.

Again Psychologies magazine has been a great help in this area. I'm still reluctant to pick up a self help book – perhaps it's because I (still) view admitting I need help as a sign of failure. However Psychologies has interviews with admirable women, fashion tips and a problem page so my self-doubting can perceived it as entertainment rather than self-improvement. Each month I'm reading small chunks of articles that are going towards building my self-esteem. Once I've worked through some of the exercises, I'll share them here.

Having an amplified sense of failure does not help when it comes to writing. Using statistics from Duotrope, one publication I recently submitted work to has a 3% acceptance rate. That leaves a staggering 97% of submissions that are rejected for a number of reasons. Despite the vast numbers of writing publications out there, not everyone gets work published. Does that mean they are all failures? No, it simply means that their work was not suitable for that particular issue. It is rare to get any critiques back from rejection letters – the volume of submissions means editors do not have the time to provide such as service. However, it does lift my spirit when I read a small tid bit of praise within a rejection letter. That is what I need to focus on, not the rejection itself.

In my next post, I'll talk about what I've learned through embracing failure.